由於從小遭受暴力與性侵的遺害，讓我雖明知自己是天父的女兒，卻總難逃一種壓抑捆綁、看人臉色的小媳婦心態。
四個月前的一個週末，當我正準備陪同丈夫和他三姊(也是他上司)一塊兒去聖地牙哥某教會辦事，卻在清晨上車前不慎嚴重扭傷了腳踝骨。
劇烈的疼痛中，我明知自己傷勢嚴重、動彈不了，卻默默任丈夫丟下我，看著他和三姊驅車而去。
寂寞、孤單、痛苦中，我憶起婚後種種；不論是流產、生孩子、動大手術，甚至車禍後重傷等等，一次次來自公婆及公婆家人的凌辱與虐待浮上心頭。
三天後丈夫歸來，推著輪椅上的我去複診，已然回復了他的溫柔細心，與先前那付冷漠無情、前後判若二人。
見我青紫腫脹的腳滿是淤血，又聽醫生說這傷勢嚴重、需時三個月康復，他開始越發體貼、對我倍加照顧。到了家門，他甚至彎下身來、背著我進屋………
我很感激丈夫，但也定意不再放過裏面那個小媳婦，以及她所背負的咒詛。
我深知，問題在我自己！
經過數日在我主十字架面前的默禱沉思，終於神的恩典臨到；耶穌的死與復活、藉著聖靈觸動了我，叫我以真實深度的饒恕之心、奉耶穌基督的名，砍斷那長久以來轄制陳周這兩個家族的黑暗權勢！
如同酒政尼希米為他父家以色列民的禱告，我開始為自己、我父母、我家人、我祖先的罪，以及我丈夫、他父母、他家人、他祖先的罪懇求。我迫切懇求耶穌基督用祂的寶血厚厚塗抹遮蓋，永遠不再記念這兩個家族代代相傳的罪孽。
哈利路亞！忽然有天上的大光托住我，讓我滿有坐上雲端的自由與釋放。
將近四個月了；如今，腳傷仍然未癒，我的心已一片清明。
而且，早已做了決定！
不再是那個苦毒自憐的小媳婦；我，乃天父永恆臂膀中的尊貴公主！
Much as being a child of God, I used to notice the side- effect of being put in the wrong by people because of my oppressed personality due to some early-age experiences of physical and sexual abuse.
Four months ago one Saturday morning, when I was just about to take a trip and go along with my husband and his sister to a church in San Diego, I injured my ankle.
Even though I knew I was badly injured, I silently allowed my husband to leave me alone and drove away with his sister.
Feeling very lonely and in pain, I couldn’t help but started to recall all other painful memories in my marriage from my in-laws.
Three days later, my husband came back and took his wheel-chaired wife to the doctor. He saw my look terribly bruised, inflamed foot, and he learned from the doctor that my injury was so severe that it would take at least 12 weeks to reach a potential recovery, he became totally different from the moment my ankle was injured. He became so very nice to me.
I appreciated my husband, but I also decided to no more let go of my inside pitiful-little-cripple, as well as the curses that she had been bearing.
I knew very well that it all came from my own problems.
After a few days of contemplative prayers before the Cross of my Lord, grace came upon and the Holy Spirit touched me, I then was all ready to pray for my whole family of origin and my husband’s whole family of origin.
As Nehemiah the cup-bearer prayed for his people of Israel, I asked my Lord my God to please forgive each and every one of my family and his family. I prayed for Jesus’ precious blood to greatly cover and erase all the sins of these two families from many generations.
Hallelujah! All of a sudden, I was carried by some great light and I felt completely free and released!
Up to this very moment, my ankle is still in the process of recovery, but my heart has become absolutely light and clear.
And, a decision has been made.
No more Little Cripple; I, am the noble princess of my Everlasting Father!
(By Julia Chou)
啟航 The Dawn Sailing 